 I am the new underwater toddler, can't wait to explore more of the beautiful marine life underneath... One wreck dive is coming up and also Bali, most probably, time to stock up for my own equipment... Just the basics and nothing fancy. Had a really wonderful divingweekends and meeting new people. Diving really takes my mind off and feels good when i just put all my energy and not worryig about anything else but to admire the colourful marine life around me. It feels good when i get to point out something that the dive master misses. Can't wait for the next diving trip. Maldives, I am coming soon (when the $$$ in my bank grows bigger, Maldives is next).
 
 My 24th Birthday, Jen's & Pete W 29th... Wow! Older, Wiser and Wilder of course! Jen's new place is just down the road, how convenient! I am looking forward to more homecook frenchie dinner. Lovely Jen invited the sweet girls (the others who missed out... your lost!) and Jonnifer and we got served... Foie Gras, Salmon Canapes, Mushroom and Chicken, with Champagne and WINE... Lovely... When's the next dinner date, madamemoiselle? I am ready! 
Enough of alcohols and time for a really lazy, quiet one. Sante! Cccc 
I am the new underwater toddler, can't wait to explore more of the beautiful marine life underneath... One wreck dive is coming up and also Bali, most probably, time to stock up for my own equipment... Just the basics and nothing fancy. Had a really wonderful divingweekends and meeting new people. Diving really takes my mind off and feels good when i just put all my energy and not worryig about anything else but to admire the colourful marine life around me. It feels good when i get to point out something that the dive master misses. Can't wait for the next diving trip. Maldives, I am coming soon (when the $$$ in my bank grows bigger, Maldives is next).
My 24th Birthday, Jen's & Pete W 29th... Wow! Older, Wiser and Wilder of course! Jen's new place is just down the road, how convenient! I am looking forward to more homecook frenchie dinner. Lovely Jen invited the sweet girls (the others who missed out... your lost!) and Jonnifer and we got served... Foie Gras, Salmon Canapes, Mushroom and Chicken, with Champagne and WINE... Lovely... When's the next dinner date, madamemoiselle? I am ready!
Enough of alcohols and time for a really lazy, quiet one. Sante! Cccc
Cyclone in myanmar and earthquke in China, just one after another. It seems like the world is getting even more complicated now as the world shrinks. It was reported in the papers that the particular ancient dam in Dujianyuan survived the tremors except for a few minor repairs required... Take note, that is a dam made of bamboos. What about those moden ones? Signs of collapsing are showing and yes, they may collapse soon, for real! Does that mean we, moderners with so much more to offer in technology are still not as good as the good old days where things and concepts and way of lfe are being kept simple? Does that mean we, the modernists are becoming less intelligent when life and thinking were less complicated? As technology advances, the world gets smaller, everyone gets closer but in turn, creating a greater virtual distance, our thinking becomes more complicated, and way of life turns into a turmoil, filled with complexity. The ancient days or even the good old days kept things simple, without the technolog w have today. Let's keep things simple and it may last. Men and women, please come together and not make our lives already complicated enough more perplexed than ever. "Be the cahnge you wish to see in this world" - Ghandi ~CRiS~
What a day! I am glad to start the day with a traditional Javanese massage and it definitely loosen up the tension and the joints. Despite the next few hours of getting busy with the preparation of the food and bit of cooking and cleaning up (Thanks to my lovely mama and cousin helping out) and of course with the girls eating the food! 
I could feel the massage acu-points hurting a bit but am feeling relaxed still. Awesome. I am definitely heading back for more! 
The weekend has been quite a roller-coaster ride somehow. Matty's coming back from BKK Rugby Tour, and I suceeded in going through with my fire spinning session and can't wait to get my hands on the next session! Woohoo! 
Love my girls. Bisous! xcx
 | Pain | Feb 10, '08 8:10 AM
for everyone |
I haven't felt such pain in a long time. The feeling wasn't nice at all. The same pain I felt when I lost someone dearly a few years ago. It felt more than just a stab in the heart. It was filled with so much emotions that I don't even know what I'm feeling now.
It was such a deep wound that tears filled it all up. Blood ran dry. It's only left with the carcass of an empty soul. The huge bubble has disappeared right before my eyes. It is all gone for good. The pain stays.
Ohh.... It's almost 7 months and how time flies! Matty and I are great. The girls are still living it large, less partying, I reckon. The recent flu bug got quite a few sickie and fragile on the fast lane.... Anyway, work is getting pretty mundane, though keeping me busy.... Work, nowadays, has become more of a chore rather than something that I enjoy... Am in the midst of looking for part time studies - degree in PR/Communication. RMIT, seems it is! I want to get out of there! I want to try something new and I am sure I can live it up to new challenges. I've been hanging out in the kitchen more often than I had always been... I am a diploma graduate in Hospitality Management (during which I didn't fancy Culinary module back then) and am actually enjoying my cooking stints every now and then with Matty. He really got me into it... I love cooking something for him and would clean up after, not like in the past, NONONO, I just don't get along with pots and pans till I met him. Fi is in NY, Tian is leaving soon for Dubai.... Glad that Red & Nora are still staying put in Singtown. Oh Jen is back in town, hoping to settle here for good if things work out for her here! Till then! Bisous.
| Cris? | Jan 26, '08 4:40 AM
for everyone |
| What Cris Means | |
You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.
You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.
A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/ |
I reckon, I am defeated. Bruised and numb. It's all a blur now, as if i've woken up from my dream, vaguely having any recollection. I'm so tired of the viscious cycle. Why isn't there an end to it? All's been said and done and it has been officially turned into a monthly affair. I'm tired. I am thoroughly disappointed with myself. What else can I do seeing it happening again? It takes two hands to clap and I don't wish to do anything this time. There never was an ultimatum. It's a compromise but somehow we're back to square one. It hurts when the same thing hapened again for the third time, what's the point of having it resolved but would surface AGAIN a month later? I wished I was PROVEN WRONG. Yes, I wished. How does it feel when one is being seen differently by others in their eyes? I am who I am. If you don't like what you see, get lost. I am not here to please anyone or trying to be someone that they think I should be. No, not in this lifetime. It is even more frustrating when untrue stories were heard. How atrocious sometimes likfe can be as it makes one happy spinning stories like that. And one has to be nice and sweet to people like them? You know who you are and KARMA WILL COME TO YOU. Get out of my face. Pardon my blunder. Don't bother reading it.
 I adore every moment of my life till this very moment except for that persistent headache that does not seem to go away since 12 nn... Looking back, it has been a wonderful year, with some of the most important people in my life, pushing my buttons, to the limits, at times. I appreciate that from the bottom of my heart! A few bumps earlier in the first half of the year but life have since gotten so much better, especially with Matty, around. It's awesome. I feel like a princess all the time and I love it. Happy for Fi too, and finally, I can stop bugging her every now and then to see if she's still alive! Haha! You go girl! Nora.... my drama mama queen... time to slow down on work. She's shooting for a quickie getaway, lovely! Red.... She's one who makes me laugh at the most random moments. Tian, my loveliest girl who is working too hard at times and hopefully, she feels better now. Speedy recovery is a must. These girls are such wonders and drive me nuts every now and then but I love'em! Sha sha... too busy with his boys and I've been neglected. He's a sweetie after all. Glad that his career is taking off. Yeah. Aiming for my dessert! Haven't tried his cooking in a long long time! Miss that!    Matty, my biggest baby of all, is indeed, a handful at times during certain crucial moments in between. He's lovely. Heard so much from others about him *he wears his heart on his sleeve* *he's the most genuine person* yadalada. No doubts about that! He's awesome. Mama can't stop waxing lyrical about him when I see her from time to time or over the phone. I get jealous. All's fair and square as his mum does the same whenever they speak. I propose we should swap mothers! Things continue to look rosier as I write and never been better. 
I came to realise that it takes only one special moment to change everything before and the not so good times such as the bumps along the journey till now would slowly be forgotten. It's as if I'm feeling *wow, finally, the not so good times are seen as blessing indisguise, making one stronger*. 
More thoughts by the pool... 
cccc
An article in the Sunday Times brought tears to my eyes. A couple who lost 3 babies and having to put through such grief is definitely not easy. The first child was a stillborn and so wasthe second, and the third child died 36 hours later, All were born prematurely. It was such a heart-wrenching aricle to read. I doubt I can survive such an ordeal one afte another. I thought to myself, how precious and fragile life can be. FRAGILE, INDEED! I faced the first death of someone young and precious when i was 3 years ago. It was a path hard to travelled on. The grief was tremendous and even till today, it hurts when I thought about it. That death of that particular someone has etched deeply in me till the end of life. 2nd death was of my young cousin who died of leukamia. She was one brave girl, who was born with Down Syndrome and has always seen life with so much enthusiasm. No one in the family had ever thought different of her. Her last moments remained vivid in my mind: In ICU, with tubes running though her body, never-ending tubes. She was bloated. She continued to put on a brave front to her parents. The joy she brought the day she came to this world continues till even after the day she left all of us. Her funeral was my first. That was 2 years ago. I was anxious as I've attended one before and I didn't kow how sombre it was. I saw her paternal grandmother crying her lungs out. Jackson, her brother, held back the tears which eventually burst out. Death, brings one down to its most fragile state, all the time. Having to face the death of the loved ones is definitely hard. To mourn for the young ones makes it the worst grief one has to go through ever. Cccc
Aha! I've gotta REAL GOOD LOOKING toy. Sexy. Black. Portable. Light. Sheer size. Powerful. OOh, voila! I am a real happy jam! Just gotten it over the weekend. Awesome. And am head over heels with this new lil' blackie toy, it does matches my blackie johnnie too. I really like it, yummy one! Matty gotten himself a new toy too. Sexy. Black. Portable. Light. Sheer size. Powerful. Hmmm... we both have our lil' black toys to toy with now. No fights! A quiet sunday... lunch with mama, quickie drinks with mattu's mates and then toy shopping. Not too bad, no rowdiness, which i like. I definitely love a slow and quiet wkn. No fuss. Somehow, it's still a bit tough at the moment but it'll be over soon. SOON, and crossing fingers and all my hair and anything i can cross. Soon, we'll have a lil' love nest, officially! Can't wait for that to happen SOON! For the record... our new toys over the weekend - He's happy with his new camera and I have my laptop. I may have my new toy, Matty is still top of my list, of course! Bisous.
 Quiet weekend, indeed, with Matty and I, finally; and I found both odd and wonderful at the same time. Almost all weekends are noisy, full of programs and involving everyone. The weekend before which I aptly name "That Last Weekend" reached the maximum of my tolerance that some peace is urgently required. It has not been easy, putting up with the crazy weekend antics, one after another, and loud bangs and knocks and shouts early in the morning *how's that being awaken at 7 or 8am to blasting music???* and before the next crazy sunday program starts.
Wanted a quick getaway from everyone but things didn't turned out my way. Too late and too pricey to book for flights at the last minute, can't make up my mind which accommodation to take up. Location, location.... vietnam, cambodia, phuket, tioman, samui, bali (i'm going there in oct so nope!), and the last desperate measure, even bintan, didn't even make things easier for us. Not used to planning my escapadeS. I'm better organising ppl's affairs such as events product launches and so on and so forth. Hence, we decided to stay grounded on S'pore land and Matty has since taken over the honour of organising a proper quickie escapade for the next weekend. Yes please, go ahead. Surprise me baby! On a desperate friday evening and still wanting to fly out to somewhere, I was being coaxed to order-in dinner and Bourne Ultimatum in which I fell asleep in between scenes, caught the opening and ending scenes in a movie theatre. Haha! He had a good one laughing at me! It was a really slow and blissful weekend with just the both of us. MAtty's homemade tacos, grocery shopping, a few quiet beers at Harry's, watching a truly captivating movie: Apocalypto, and very enjoyable heart-to-heart conversations about everything... etc. It is definitely a great feeling to wake up slightly later on a Sunday and no-nonsense and any other random noise-making sessions that may just wake the whole neighbourhood up. I adore the weekend. Quiet, serendipity, surreal weekend and I welcome more. cCCc
 Strategic planning does not work during vacation, Matty. The zoo which I wanted to go (Cuz said skip it as Mandai zoo is better), his other proposed attractions: the aquarium which his lil' sweetie niece loves it, the harbour bridge climb (he claimed too cold and beer's good), darling harbour, opera house... all been there done that from the views from many different bars to make my mark only. Haha, not forgetting beers in hand. The beer labels that read low carbs did not make me feel too good either, imagine the amount of beer consumed? I miss my guinness. He took trains with me, no gruntles from my big giant at all. Not his usual. Haha! Oh it was such bad weather on the 1st day of arrival. Jeez. Stayed in and went to Burwood for Italian food. He's such a sweetheart, indeed.  Catch up with his mates 2nd night for Bargies housewarming party. Great fun despite the cold and windy weather (the coat did not keep my shivers away) and huge BBQ roast! Yummy! *THE MEAT IS PILING ON ME, I CAN FEEL IT! Marshmallow man too!* Head out to Cargo on darling harbour. Mich and Connor and Kaz and us, the last few standing for the night!
 Liam, Rohan, Conor, Matty, Mich, Andrew and Bargie 
The boys and partners His pop drove us down to mollymook on the south coast. How serene, and relaxed, it is! Beautiful weather! I've been warned of his pop's music session, rod stewart, John Denver, Johnny cash were top on the music charts. Not that bad! More BBQ session to come!  Barry and Champagne
Of course, my lovely cuz and Paul. Chicken curry is part of the welcoming dinner.Miss her so much and lots of chatting. The last time we met in persons while she was in town lasted 5 mins worth of chat... great chats, laughs. Good ol' times. The only thing that actually realised on his agenda is Rugby. Good game though. Hurray!  No. 3 - MATTY (in white shorts)
I'm loving every moment of it. Great loving from the MARSMALLOW MAN and of course, more to come. Can't wait for more! Never like this before and am totally loving everything! Kisses! I still owe him 999,999 beers as my appreciation for his sweet loving touches... That would take a long time to repay that. Till then...  Bisous.
CCCC
 Oh what a week! Rugby season kicked off last saturday. Watched the match where Bucks & Bedok Kings competed. Bucks didn't have that much luck for the first game. Afterall, a good game, otherwise. The players ended up with rashes on em'! Ewww.... head off to clarke quay to continue the night.... i made muffins, blueberry muffins... second time baking. Not too bad, i thought. Need to work on it more! What ya expect when I've to whisk manually *without the great inventions of machine operated whisk and blender? Tough job. Blueberry and cuppies aside, had lamb roast last night, yummy, under the magic hands of matty. EXCEPT i forgot about snow peas as i was too stressed out searching for the gravy at the supermarket. 
 
Last but not least, the most unwilling party to hop on the bus.................. How cranky is that?! 
Not forgetting that if you're free, please do drop by this sunday's charity event to be held at Bungy Bar, Clarke Quay. Bissous, C
 Jen's night  James Birthday @ New Asia
The past weeks have been so wonderful, indeed. Hunter whizzed by singtown for the weekend before jetting off to sydney again. Catch up for a few drinks and some shopping... and hearing him talking about maldives trip, awww i'm so envious. Night out with Jen before she left for Europe. Save the guinness for me in Dublin! I've been taking my time to smell the roses... oh lovely. Back is healing fast except for aching muscles still. Nothing major. A few nights staying in and me trying to cook up a storm in the kitchen! Lucky, no casualties nor any burnt kitchen / food poisoning case so far (Lucky Matty). James' bday party @ New asia bar, and fancy bumping into an ol'friend! He caught me by surprise!  GUESS WHO?
The Cure - I will not miss it! Tickets been booked! Yeah! Travels... Been on the cards for too long! Tamil kept checking when i shall make my presence felt in the states. Aiming for 1st wk of august. I can't wait to see my dearest cousin in Sydney... been too long. The last time she was back and we barely chatted long enough! Argghhh. Pockets getting deeper with these travels coming up. On the side note, yes, I shall go for diving lessons fast! Jeez. If not for the back injury, I might have done more stuff by now! Miss wakeboarding. Bugger! Rugby... Am getting educated with rugby terms here and there, and trying to curb my emotions while watching men slamming on top of one another and that is called.... a tackle. I remembered the points system (a try for 5 points, conversion for 2points ??? did i get it right? )... It seems to me that I comprehend rugby more than I have ever known about soccer?! Good day. Ciao  XccccX
Hmmmm... a dear friend said her best mates need her 24/7 in a way... For the record, just not too keen on the boy. No one is ostracising our dearest sweetie. No one is asking for 24/7, we've our own life too, better things to do in life. We love and care for one another, with a few concerns in mind, that's all. For our dearest sweetie and we give no damn about anyone else. *don't get me wrong, we love ya still! That aside, life's been great, been wakeboarding for the past few weekends and hey hey, I have been doing quite well on riding. thanks to myles and kev! And something gotta happened like when i was looking forward to the next riding session! Hmmm slipped and fell and landed tail bone (coccyx) first. Jeez. My lower back and the left side is sore, hinders each and every of my movement. I'm like an old woman now, yes, my favourite catchphrase of the month: GENTLE ON THE BACK! I'm happy on my own, taking it time slow to heal (right)! Been seeing my favourite man of the moment! Chinese physician for his acupuncture, and *bitch-slapping session* jeez. He uses his fingers and hit me on my back all over to improve the blood circulation and ease up the tension on my back... Been seeing him since last saturday! my ritual routine now since I'm not working for the time being... at least for the next 2 weeks, i shall nurse my back. Am looking forward to go sydney too, plans put on hold for now, for christ's sake, i can't sit for too long, i can't stand for too long, best bet , to lie down on my stomach. How am i tolerate the flight to sydney with my sore back? Forget about the states! Chines physician says take a month before going for the next ride. He's lovely Last wkend was fun, hilarious dressing... and lots of characters. Tian topped it all with her flapping soles. You gotta see it. I had a good time laughing at it and so did everyone, and i forgot to take a pic of the evidence for one of the mest memorabilias on my wall! Arggh! 
*GENTLE ON THE BACK* Kisses.
Have you ever wonder... about the image and impressions one give? The portrayal of one speaks volume... Sometimes, it can't be helped when the other gets the whole idea wrong... Missy T spoke to me recently about being floaty-grounded-substance theory 1. Being floaty... It's easy being floaty... No specific goals, at a total loss. Aimless soul! One don't know what he/she wants. Gets excited easily. No one will take him/her seriously, in terms of work or relationships. There seems to be a lack of belonging... 2. Being grounded There are a few goals in life. Passing on the phase being floaty... to the next level. Knowing what's good and WHAT'S not. One has walked through that mist. 3. One with Substance... It is as if one has attained nirvana. Others would think twice talking about you. Substance is one thing hard to grasp in life. It comes from within. You can't measure via monetary terms. Don't want to bonk anyone with too much words. You got the geist of it, good enough. 'Nuff said. C
Wow! Just one more event to go for this saturday, no more having to wake up at 5am for event setup! Jeez... so tiring at the end of the day... Such a busy month, never ending event setups, that means the comapany is doing well! Haha, bet my boss is smiling to the bank. It has been back to back events, meetings in between, crazy amigos running around...  Long day at work, up at bloody hell 5.30am, just after one hour of sleep (was at boss's place till 3plus, testing out new sound system we just bought for next day's event setup). Early birthday celebration with the girls, started off at Bosses' place with Crispian and Yiting, the other may babies, Crispian's was just 2 days before me! Wati is so sweet... bought me a swarovski ring, beautiful one with a purple stone. Wow! Crispy gotta ipod aka black johnnie 2 and Yiting received a pendant... These are the same items that Wati would buy for herself TOO! 
Set off to Ross' place, mark, zayed, and the girls had a kickstart before me, all geting warm up for the night ahead. Love them to bits. All had fun. All good.  Went boating recently. Tried wakeboarding again after so many months. Got a cut on my finger... Jeez! Buster, cool dude. HAHA! Such a lovely dog! 
Till then! Ciao xCx
"The Ten of Swords card suggests that my power today lies in acceptance. It's over and done in no uncertain terms. I recognize, surrender to or accept the finality of the truth or consequences in order to look to the future or have "changed my mind." I let go of all attachment or resistance to sustaining conditions that don't work or are out of my hands. E tu brute? I can't move forward by beating a dead horse. It's the last word so put a period on it and move on. I am empowered by truth and consequences and my virtue is liberation or release from suffering, uncertainty or victimhood. "
How things have changed in such a short time... Unbelievable. I am hurt. I could have expected it, COLD TURKEY, that's how it feels like. Horrible. The stare in the eyes was so penetrating, it made me feel hurt even more. I wish there was more to that, I was waiting to hear something more. Why is it so? Karma, maybe? There was nothing much to say. Silence fell between us, it aches, unbearable.
It was so uncalled for, to hear the words, wish I was deaf. I learn it the hard way. Rude awakening, indeed! Who shall I believe? It does not make a difference, does it matter at all? According to Maxine, it does. Humour me, please. Enough of bull-shitting. It ain't gonna make the situation better. According to me and what the girls been repeating their chants (just to drill it in my brain for good), it's good riddance!
How true! Just earlier, I chanced upon yesterday's Tarot card reading ... So surreal. It is for real. Spot on! "IT'S OVER AND DONE IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS". This can't be any better. It's a learning process and I'll learn to deal with all this energy.
How nice to have Red back with us in Singtown, and surprise surprise, an unexpected friend came along too. OOh... lovely. Hmmm, miss out on that opportunity for a family portrait, just like that of a polygamy relationship aka family day out! haha, 4 AND A HALF (inclu lil' shirin) girls and 1 chap, Nora brought along sweet shirin and pram, yeah, there you goes, the complete picture.
Anyway, RETAIL THERAPY is always a good option to have for a sunday. Didn't wanna miss out Wing Tai Sales, and yeah my jaw dropped *GASP* $1995 for a valentino top which caught my eyes (the price tag was noticed after much fondling with the top)! hell yeah, it's on 75% discount! $500after discount, no way dude! Scruffles to the other room with more affordable prices for other brands. Nora and I got our fix. Nora is so different when her lil' girl is around. Such MOTHER INSTINCTS!
Out with Red and friends and a great night as usual... Red is just in love. It's all good except for the rain in the night... heavy rainpour! What a night!
Girls, our monthly treats shall start this month, each of us will take turn to reward one anotheer. GUUURRRL POWER, KISSES TO THE YA YA SISTAHOOD!
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